The Slumber Party Massacre

the_slumber_party_massacre_film_posterIn Re-Animator, we had a Man in the Pan. The Slumber Party Massacre has a killer Man in a Van, purloined from his first victim in a parking lot. And that man loves his power tools, a driller killer whose first victim is a telecom worker (given the exorbitant rates we pay for Internet in Canada, maybe that one can be forgiven).

But he doesn’t stop there. After all, a massacre is an indiscriminate and brutal slaughter of people. Ergo, more than one.

A slumber party sounds like fun, in theory. However, we all know it’s a one-stop shop for a man with massacring on his poorly developed frontal lobe, here, escaped loon Russ Thorn. It almost goes without saying that when it comes to attractive co-eds in various states of undress, he is indeed a thorn in their side.

Directed by Amy Holden Jones (Mystic Pizza/Beethoven), you wouldn’t necessarily expect a film that looks like a casting call for photographer Spencer Tunick (NSFW, unless you work somewhere fantastic).

The victims, all members of an inept female basketball team with a field goal percentage low enough that they wildly cheer every single bucket, all shower together in one protracted, and damn-near essential, scene. Holden Jones sure knows her target market, as minute 1 we get a shot of the popular girl disrobing.

the_slumber_party_massacreThe girls actually do decide to host a slumber party,  despite the  clear and present danger. And the party consists of slipping off their tops, eating pizza, puffing weed and talking about boys.

Two horndogs spy on the proceedings, getting their rocks off before they’re bored and gored by the killer. Ditto the poor minimum wage soul who delivers the piping pie.

Luckily, bullied Valerie (the late Robin Stille) isn’t invited and as such, is able to last until the final credits.

Competently made, fun little slasher boom thriller that spawned an infamous sequel, Slumber Party Massacre II (no definite article required).

**1/2 (out of 5)

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