Motivational Growth

MotivationalGrowth_PosterWe all need a mentor in our lives. Someone who gives us a little guidance and sets us on the right path. A Tony Robbins-like figure to snatch us up by our bootstraps and elevate us to our highest potential. Granted, most don’t have immediate access to a freakishly tall, horse-toothed guru, so why not a gigantic heap of bacterial fungus instead?

In Motivational Growth, we meet Ian Foliver, a man who could certainly use some life-coaching. A depressive agoraphobe, Ian lives in squalor and hasn’t left his apartment in nearly a year. He’s disheveled, scraggly-bearded, and looks like he hasn’t seen a bar of soap in months (actually, give him a banjo and he could easily fit right in to the latest hipster band du jour.) His days revolve around watching his television, Kent (yes, he gave his television a name) and alternately looking forward to/dreading his semi-regular bowel movement. When Kent blows a tube, Ian’s had enough. He decides to take his own life.

Unfortunately for Ian, he’s as successful at self-annihilation as he is every other aspect of his life. Upon recovering consciousness, Ian discovers The Mold, a giant-talking fungus nested in the corner of his bathroom sink. The Mold, voiced by Jeffrey Combs of Re-Animator fame, dispenses wisdom and barks orders in an Elvis-drawl. The Mold refers to itself in the first-person and demands to be called The Mold (do not drop the definite article!) This despite continuously referring to Ian as Jack for some non-defined reason.

Horror has a long-tradition of animate inanimate objects, including the killer Laundry Press in The Mangler, the murderous Tire in Rubber, and my personal fave, the carnivorous Bed in Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (just Eats, not Eats People, Patton!) But a sentient fungus is original indeed. Before long, due to The Mold’s coaching, Ian’s life is on the upswing. He cleans his apartment. He gives himself a shave and a haircut. He even invites in the endearing neighbor that he has been window-stalking every morning at precisely 10:16 a.m. Yet it’s not all rainbows and lollipops. I mean besides living with a talking mold, Ian continually suffers blackouts, spews copious amounts of green goop at inappropriate times, and may or may not have murdered the grocery-delivery girl, his landlord and possibly others.

Motivational Growth, the feature-length debut by indie-auteur Don Thacker is admittedly pretty nutzoid. Definitely not your average Saturday-night date flick. But therein lies its charm. It’s inventive, unique, and certainly not something you’d see at your average multiplex playing next to the latest tepid remake of a ’70’s thriller starring Denzel Washington. Ian is a likeable sorta fella and his relationship with The Mold is at times oddly charming. And despite the film’s low budget, the practical puppeteering used to bring The Mold to life is nicely effective. There are pacing problems and the single set (Ian’s apartment) does give the film a bit of a stagy feel. Motivational Growth is also not without some ambiguity, but I feel that given the tone of the film, the uncertainty is a credit rather than a debit.

For those with a taste for the bizarre, not bad at all.

**1/2 (out of 5)

Supermensch: The Legend of Shep Gordon

SUPERMENSCH_POSTERIf you ever wondered if anyone’s ever tried to ply Anne Murray with coke, Supermensch might be the film for you. Snowbird, indeed.

Mike Myers’ directorial debut aired on A&E, and tells the tale of Shep Gordon, a music manager mensch with an uber appetite for drugs and debauchery who helped blaze a trail for rocker Alice Cooper in the 70s. He was the the guy whose job it was to “make sure you got the money, and remembered never to forget to get the money”.

Their paths crossed in the 90s when Myers was shooting Wayne’s World and trying to get Cooper songs cleared for the movie. They became fast friends and what we’re left with is pure hagiography – a no warts portrait of an admittedly fun guy, Shep. And this about a man who became Teddy Pendergrass’ manager after a bet over who could ingest the most narcotics and still be left standing (especially tragic given what happened to the soul singer later).

Hollywood A-listers like Sly and Michael Douglas tell us what a nice man Gordon is and we find out he’s adopted four kids – but we don’t find out why he only survived being Pink Floyd’s manager for nine days (we can surmise it’s because Roger Waters is a colossal ass?) Poison’s Bret Michaels once said on CNN that the music business is the “sleaziest business in the world and…there are 50 ways to get screwed from just one incident”. It’s amazing then that Myers could not track down a single musician offering a contrarian stance. As the Telegraph put it, the film: “betrays no interest in what we actually want to know: where the bodies might be buried.”

Still, there’s no denying the incredible life he’s led and there are at times lively anecdotes about the origins of the plane engine trouble scene in Almost Famous, how Gordon co-adopted a cat with Cary Grant once shtuped Sharon Stone and hung out with the Hollywood Vampires, a hard-drinking barfly collective whose members included among others John Lennon, Keith Moon and Bernie Taupin.

*** (out of 5)