Crash

CrashWhen they had torn open her shirtwaist, still damp with perspiration, they saw that her left breast was swinging loose like a flap, and there was no need to listen for the heart beneath.
The Great Gatsby

The car has become the carapace, the protective and aggressive shell of urban and suburban man.
Understanding Media: The Extensions of Man, Marshall McLuhan

Just when you think you’ve seen it all, you rubber neck.

Crash begins with hypnotic opening credits that mimic chevrons or oncoming traffic on a late night drive.

Literally, a Freudian death drive, it depicts people for whom falling asleep at the wheel isn’t a concern, but who actually seek out the transcendent experience of the film’s very title. What’s been so off-putting to audiences is the acceptance of Crash’s premise: the “liberation of sexual energy” derived from crumpled steel. As sex advice columnist Dan Savage frequently points out, however weird people think their personal sexual predispositions are, they’re seldom alone and can find a community somewhere.

Like the open road, the Ballards (James Spader and Deborah Kara Unger) have an open relationship.

Crash_CronenbergIn the opening scene, Catherine Ballard is having sex on the wing of a gleaming Cessna with a stranger in a hangar outside of Toronto*. We then cut to film director James Ballard (named after the author of the source novel) having sex with his camera girl on the set of his latest film. This is right out of McLuhan here: “by an enormous speed-up of assembly line segments, the movie camera rolls up the real world on a spool…by speed up, the airplane rolls up the highway into itself.”

When driving home one night, Mr. Ballard is involved in a crash, the passenger occupant of the other vehicle torpedoes through his windshield and is killed instantly. The driver, Dr. Helen Remington, exposes herself to Ballard before being extricated from the wreck.

While convalescing, a mechanic Vaughan (Elias Koteas) dressed in hospital garb takes a particular interest in Ballard’s wounds, examining them closely.

In hospital, Ballard’s physical setback isn’t going to keep him from indulging his sexual impulses as he and his wife get off as she’s telling him about the state of his wreck.

Ballard visits the impound lot to see his totalled ride and Dr. Remington is there. They have torrid sex in the airplane hangar and thereafter, she introduces him to the artistry of Vaughan, a crash reconstructionist who stages accidents involving famous people for an audience of the like-minded. This takes place on a deserted road by the railroad tracks, to continue in McLuhan territory.

They perform James Dean’s 1955 fatal Porsche wreck, with Vaughan the mechanic portraying Dean’s passenger, mechanic Rolf Wütherich who was thrown from the vehicle but survived (interestingly, only to be killed a few decades later in a drunk driving incident). Vaughan and his auto-erotic brethren express an interest in doing Jayne Mansfield next and Ballard and Remington accelerate their fetish.

Crash is fascinating. Cars feature prominently in horror films for obvious reasons: they represent sexual freedom (of the kind extirpated by lovers’ lane killers – see The Town that Dreaded Sundown and Maniac), they get people out of the urban milieu and into the woods and the break down at the most inopportune times. They’re seldom vehicles of sexual expression.

**** (out of 5)

[Editor’s note: In a city obsessed with solving its terrible gridlock, it’s a bit ironic that the city of Toronto is featured in a film about speed. Our hometown though, creates a wonderful urban backdrop, especially the Gardiner Expressway, an elevated eyesore running along the lakeshore that many would sooner bury than praise, a la Boston’s “Big Dig” project. Adding to its villainy, concrete chunks of it regularly fall off and it needs constant and very expensive maintenance.]

Anger of the Dead

anger-of-the-deadAlice doesn’t live here anymore. Why? She’s on the run from a spreading zombie contagion in Anger of the Dead AKA Age of the Dead (both irredeemably stupid titles).

Alice (Robert Sparta), in addition to being pregnant, is burdened with asthma and resorting to defending herself with a knitting needle from the rampaging undead. Luckily, she’s helped out by a Good Samaritan who runs over one the zombies and endeavors to drive her to that zombie film MacGuffin staple, the safe haven.

Meanwhile, a mysterious strapped-down female prisoner has escaped a dark room. We know this because of her captors’ extended forest exposition looking for her, while arguing among themselves and offering Yoda-like homilies like, “words are used by everyone, wisdom by few.”

Anger of the Dead’s concurrent twin-chase plot device makes it slightly different from other zombie flicks and talkathons like The Walking Dead.

We soon discover zombies follow their prey by sonar, “wandering vainly and destroying everything that comes across their path.”

Our heroes use police shortwave to assist their mission, trying to get to a port and an island escape so Alice can comfortably give birth away from the rampaging hordes.

Some bumpy conveyor belt dialogue in the mouths of an otherwise game, predominantly Italian cast. Jon Hamm double Aaron Stielstra is fun as the Machiavellian alpha goon Rooker. He’s a spaghetti Western figure whose henchmen (at least the ones who don’t cross him) take refuge in…well, The Refuge.

anger_of_the_dead_movie
There’s no job security in being a henchman.

Anger of the Dead is co-produced by the notorious Uwe Boll, the German maverick who recently went on a YouTube rant decrying crowd funding’s “retarded amateur idiots,” after failing to adequately fund his last project. We’re not going to cheap shot him here; for all his faults as a filmmaker, the man’s got titanium balls

Regardless, he’s relegated to background here; Director Francesco Picone adapted Anger from his own 2013 short.

Like Umberto Lenzi’s Nightmare City, Anger of the Dead features zombies only made up from the neck up. It also has the modern conceit of sped-up creatures.

What isn’t sped up though, is the narrative, which some have complained, lags in parts.

Not nearly as bad as its IMDb reviews would have you believe, but it’s also not particularly brain-blowing.

*** (out of 5)