chomp12x18withurlHorror shorts can be a heck of a lot of fun. Quick, punchy and to the point, the best ones are those that don’t overstay their welcome. The ABCs of Death and it’s much more consistent sequel The ABCs of Death 2 showcased a wide variety of shorts of varying tones and mediums and showed how malleable the horror genre is. While some shorts did work better than others, the best ones did quite a lot in a limited amount of time. All killer, no filler, as they say. Thus, it’s like a Ramones’ tune (though how anybody could not like a Ramones’ song is unfathomable): Don’t worry. If you don’t like the song, it’ll be over in about three minutes.

Chomp is a 12-minute short by writer/director Lynn Hansen that could easily have been slotted into an ABC’s of Death film and would have been one of the highlights. Call it M for Misunderstanding, B for Blowhard, or C for Chomp, the film does what it does in its brief run-time, entertains, and then is over. Would it have worked as a full-length? Probably not. But as a short, it’s deliciously entertaining.

Mild-mannered Mildred is an acolyte of the Rush Limbaugh like former Navy Seal Dr. Jon Croft. “Zombies, God I hate ‘em!” is how Croft begins his syndicated television show, “The Dr. John Croft Pitbulls and Zombies Hour.” Millie is determined to capture a real-life zombie and get on the show.

Pity poor Kyle Frost. He awakens in Millie’s garage chained to a cinder block. Millie is over-the-moon giddy that she’s finally captured an undead. Trouble is, Kyle is very much among the living and was just leaving a Halloween party in a bargain-basement zombie costume when Millie snatched him. Unfortunately, the old bird is so doggone determined to prove that she’s got one that all reason and rationality has completely left the coop for her.

chomp002To say much more would be to spoil the fun of Chomp, but it’s definitely a case of being careful what you wish for.

Chomp is more than ably directed and the performances are spot on, particularly Susan O’ Gara as Millie. Her unfailingly cheerful demeanor rarely falters even as she’s doing some unsavory things. Kyle Porter as Kyle Frost is quite good too.

Chomp is like a good shot of whiskey. It goes down smooth and leaves you feeling fine. The same may not be said were it the whole bottle being consumed, but as a taste, it’s quite savory.

*** (out of five)

Published by Really Awful Movies

Genre film reviewers covering horror and action films. Books include: Mine's Bigger Than Yours! The 100 Wackiest Action Movies and Death by Umbrella! The 100 Weirdest Horror Movie Weapons.

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