Killer Rack

[Full disclosure : the other half of the Really Awful Movies Team is an Associate Producer on Killer Rack]

Push-up bra pushover Betty is being passed over for office promotions in
Killer Rack, the latest from Slime City director Greg Lamberson.

The lesser endowed Buffalonian, who’s not just the breast but also the butt, so to speak, of office jokes (“do they make that top in women’s sizes?”) also has an indifferent to her — though extremely-attentive-to-the-ample-bosomed employees — boss and a sleazebag, strip-club favoring ingrate boyfriend Dutch. Dutch is unable to commit important dates to memory but remembers the exact time he bought their pet turtle (subject of a terrific gag).

One night, Betty stumbles across a cheesy infomercial: It’s a hilarious spot (“that’s right, ugly person!”) for a non-board certified plastic surgeon, Dr. Thulu, and it proves enticing

Betty runs the self-improvement-through-scalpel idea by her psychiatrist, Dr
Foin. He’s played by an outstanding Lloyd Kaufman, channeling his inner 19th century Austrian headshrinker.

He tells her, “changing part of your anatomy is a superficial boost to your self-esteem,” but he too is trivialities-obsessed and only becomes interested when she mentions she wants to talk ta-tas.
Betty doesn’t heed his words and makes a visit to the Bride of Frankenstein headquarters of the sleazy plastic surgeon (or is that redundant?), who has an assistant that takes surreptitious snaps and posts them online.

The doc Thulu, played by the unfailingly awesome scream queen vet Debbie Rochon, equips her with Betty Boob proportions and all hell (and killer mammaries) break loose.

Soon the “pair” has a mind of their own, trapping the boyfriend’s hand in cleavage and exacting revenge on two catcalling head-bangers, one of whom is pierced by EEEs in an A-mazing scene.

Any sense of propriety is tossed aside by the time her “dirty pillows” start sprouting sarlac-pit like teeth and Lovecraftian tentacles.

Killer Rack is fun and playful, playing with movie conventions (a cop and his rookie partner, Bartles and James, chat about useless exposition in a diner and a homicide detective is chastised for his ineffectual double entendres). It’s also an incisive commentary on our superficial, beauty obsessed society.

The movie even features a really amazing song and dance number, perhaps not as good as Poultrygeist, but a lot of fun nonetheless. Relative unknown Jessica Zwolak is utterly charming and committed in the lead, and the movie features great performances all around, including Micheal O’ Hear and Alexander S. McBryde as the aforementioned plain clothes officers and Michael Thurber as Betty’s malevolent boss.

And that’s not all: there’s a bad-ass punk rock title song that even manages to sneak in a snippet of the Buffalo Bills’ fight song.

It’s great to see our unfairly much-maligned little border brother so prominently featured in a film. We love Buffalo, and we love Killer Rack too. It’s a bloody riot, delivering gore and guffaws in equal measure.

You’ll never be able to hear the phrase “got milk” the same way ever again.

***1/2 (out of 5) or **** if you’re not averse to a movie that features a peppy musical number about “funbags.”  

LISTEN TO OUR KILLER RACK PODCAST, FEATURING DIRECTOR GREG LAMBERSON AND THE FILM’S CAST.