Hospital Massacre

Hospital_MassacreThe tagline is…There’s no recovery room at…Hospital Massacre…but shouldn’t it be Massacre Hospital? It’s also known as X-Ray and Ward 13 so perhaps there were some creative differences early on.

You want back-story?! You got it! A boy leaves a Valentine’s Day card for the prettiest girl in school and when he’s rebuffed, he strings her brother up on a hat rack.

Fast-forward (as you might be inclined to do anyway because of the less than stellar performances) a few decades and she’s all grown up and portrayed by playboy model and Hee Haw regular Barbi (yes) Benton who goes in for what is supposed to be a routine checkup….and

You want foreshadowing? You got it!
Her friend David: “Isn’t this the hospital where they had all  the trouble last year? Some patient ran amok or something.”

Hospital_MassacreKetchup mistaken for blood, dripping from the sandwich of a drunk? Stalled elevators? Knives ominously carving…cakes! Check. Campy patients writhing around in traction, um, double check.

There are some great lines like when one doctor says to another: “I’d like an explanation of THIS!” referring to the silhouette of a buxom Benton changing behind a screen.

This movie answers the question, who gets a blood pressure exam while topless, followed by an inappropriate massage?

Anyway, the denouement is pretty easy to figure out. This isn’t an elaborate satire of the for-private healthcare system. It’s a guy in scrubs who goes all stabby.

A FANTASTIC soundtrack, lots of surgical implements, a few frights and a hospital that really takes energy efficiency to heart with all the darkened hallways.

***1/2 (out of 5)


Published by Really Awful Movies

Horror movie authors and journalists who also review exploitation, action, grindhouse, kung fu, sci fi and other genre films. We are hosts of the Really Awful Movies Podcast, a celebration of low budget cinema - smart genre film chat, predominantly horror movies.

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