Candyman 2021

A social justice screed cosplaying as a horror film, the Candyman remake is a colossal disappointment.

Instead of talking like normal people talk, characters are mouthpieces for ideology: police bad, white people bad, gentrification bad. And that’s not subtext or metaphor, by the way. That’s all anyone prattles on about in this preachy mess of a film.

We begin in the 70s with a child, William, who’s witness to police brutality. He grows up to become an operator of a local laundromat, but to also conveniently offer the protagonist a massive exposition dump. So, essentially there to get everyone up to speed who hasn’t seen the first film. This happens in every remake, basically…someone takes up 10 minute of screen time to engage with younger demos so the writers don’t have to burden themselves by creating uniquely compelling deviations from the source material.

Our hero is Anthony, a self-loathing condo gentrifier artist dating a gallery director, whose apartment is impeccably antiseptic rather than having stuff strewn about like oh, most artists. He is is suffering from a creative block. This is unlocked by William telling him the urban legend (in both senses of the term) of the Candyman, which happened in the infamous now-former Chicago housing project, Cabrini-Green, which has been mostly razed to make way for…condos.

As an aside, the meeting between Anthony poking around what’s left of the projects and William, is as unnatural as you can get.

Anyway, Anthony is inspired enough to create a Candyman-inspired art piece called, what else? “Say my name.” And it’s instantly torn down like a social housing project, by a white art critic, who deploys a variant of “you people.”

The performances are game, and the music is pretty great.

Candyman’s beginning is pretty incredible, disorienting and creative – Chicago’s famous buildings – corn cob, Sears Tower – are turned upside down as the film draws the viewer in. Hell, shadow puppetry is used as a storytelling device as well, also super creative. What isn’t so creative is the clumsy, didactic dialogue or the flashback 20 minutes (!) in.

As far as reboots go, solidly in the middle of the pack. Which isn’t saying much.

Stick with the original Candyman, a racially charged gothic masterpiece which also happens to be the best horror film made in the 90s. And RIP, Tony Todd.

*** (out of 5)

End of the Line and public transit horror

A slew of movies have explored the subterranean horrors of subways – think Maniac, Midnight Meat Train, or the unusually quiet Berlin S-Bahn from Demons, all of which featured isolated travelers accosted by a creep.

And speaking of which, the British horror Creep – not to be confused with the stellar found footage horror Creep from 2014 – sees a woman en route to Charing Cross tube station (which is near the tacky/seedy Piccadilly Circus) fall asleep on a train, only to be trapped underground. That one’s oft-compared to the Christopher Lee/Donald Pleasence 70s horror Death Line because of the nearby setting/setup.

End of the Line takes a different approach: there are multiple victims and assailants too.

In this Canadian production, a psychiatric nurse on a late night train ride, who lost a patient to suicide, is stalked by doomsday cultist pill-poppers, The Voice of Hope.

Eventually, when power outages plague the subway line, end-timers emerge from out of the tunnels to wreak havoc.

This Maurice Devereaux-directed feature debuted at TIFF, and makes great use of an abandoned Montreal station, as well as a ghost station in Toronto that’s now only used for rerouting trains. The latter, Lower Bay Station, also saw action as a filming location for the tepid Taking of One Two Three reboot as well as Mimic and Suicide Squad. It’s also a staging ground for EMS drills.

The self-financed End of the Line, which has a budget of approximately 250k, is pretty good of its type, with some legit scares and some really solid practical effects to keep things moving. Stand clear of the doors, please.

***1/4 (out of 5)

(Editor’s note: The Toronto subway system makes an appearance in the obscure Canuxploitation flick, Murder By Phone, aka, Bells, which is sorta like Scanners for dummies)