The Running Man

In a dystopian future, criminals risk their lives to entertain the masses on TV. Isn’t that the present day NFL?

National Felon League jokes aside, The Running Man occupies that well-trodden dangerous game territory, occupied by the likes of Rollerball, Squid Game, Battle Royale, The Condemned…and further down the food chain, cheap and cheerful Canadian entry, No Exit AKA Fatal Combat.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is Ben, an LA tactical forces cop. When he disobeys orders to fire on innocents, he’s a running man before being captured for The Running Man, the eponymous wildly popular reality show that’s meant placate the populace in a one-party state.

In some brilliant stunt casting, oily real life game show host Richard Dawson plays The Running Man host Damon here. And he personally hand-picks Arnold to participate in the Bread and Circuses production on account of his biceps, likability and mobility.

Unfortunately for the production and its American Gladiator-like “stalkers,” Arnold, of course, mounts a considerable obstacle. And before too long…wait for it…the hunters become the HUNTED!

The Running Man is hammier than a German breakfast, and offers some Cannon-esque corniness.

Schwarzenegger blamed the tepid box office performance on the first time director. Which is a bit of a d*ck move so long after the fact.

Whatever the reason, not even Jim Brown, Jesse Ventura, Toru Tanaka or Yaphet Kotto can salvage this one, a far cry from Arnold’s best – Predator, The Terminator, etc.

Shaun of the Dead/Last Night in Soho/The World’s End director Edgar Wright is interested in retooling The Running Man, vowing to keep it closer to Stephen King’s source material. That means, us Usain Bolt-ing to the nearest cinema when it’s ready.

*** (out of 5)

The Advent Calendar

The Lament Configuration. Ouija boards. The Necronomicon. Disconnected landlines. Saying “Candyman” five times in front of a mirror. Conduits to other dimensions allow for lots of storytelling freedom. And Le Calendrier, aka, The Advent Calendar is no exception. But this Belgian/French co-production stands out as being unbelievably unique, if nothing else. And another worthy addition to the Christmas horror canon.

Paraplegic Eva is slogging her way through a career in insurance. Her best friend comes to Belgium via Germany for a visit, a large antique wooden/triptych advent calendar in tow. Before too long, a bored Eva is counting down to Christmas, opening doors and popping treats, which the Boschian-looking piece of furniture dutifully dispenses.

And like clockwork, every night at midnight, the calendar’s Jack-in-the-Box top pops, and says to Eva, “‘du musst jetzt öffnen,” which she does, leading to increasingly weird adventures.

One such trip is a reconnection to her father, who’s mute and suffering from Alzheimer’s dementia. However, when the calendar reveals an After Eight (pops’ favorite treat) he’s suddenly, though briefly, wholly communicative. Further confectionery portal revelations get odder and odder.

If this all sounds very idiosyncratic and weird – it is. But the performances are so grounded and so charming, you’ll be rewarded with a treat as well.

The Advent Calendar is casually paced, but different enough to resonate – especially this time of year.

***1/5 (out of 5)