Really Awful Movies

Women_in_cages A cockfight sets the tone and tips off its location: exploitation country, actually the Philippines where lots of this crap was filmed because it was cheap and offered an exotic backdrop.

Women in Cages isn’t a metaphor for some underground art-house feminist production. It’s antithetical to that in every possible way, but we’ll give it this much: the title delivers exactly on its modest promise and it’s probably a helluva lot more entertaining!

There are women, they’re in cages and they aren’t happy.

Self-described “player” Rudy, whose idea of a good date is that aforementioned cockfight (second only to Travis Bickle’s Taxi Driver first date as “worst date location ever) gets his California girlfriend Karen to take the rap for him over a brick of heroin.

She complies. Bad move.

Rudy promises to get his lawyers on the case ASAP to spring her and tells her to keep her mouth shut. Problem is, that call never comes and she gets 10 years of hard labor at the Garcel Del Inferno (we don’t know any Tagalog, but this seems ominous in any language).

Because this is a WiP feature, her fellow inmates are all attractive and are hosed down in glorious fashion.

Pam Grier is “Alabama,” a guard who has it in for her fellow Americans (especially Dixie ones) over slavery payback. She demands that everyone incarcerated refer to her as “Chief Matron.” Much like in The Big Doll House (Grier’s big break), she has a penchant for gingers and she’s got got good taste in women too, bringing back a few to her office for some R&R. [CHECK OUT OUR CHAT ABOUT THE BIG DOLL HOUSE ON THE PODCAST]

Inmates at Garcel Del Inferno are told to “watch out for the playpen,” a torture dungeon featuring a guillotine, a Catherine Wheel, and a noose, prompting the question, exactly what kind of penal institution is this?

This won’t prevent recidivism at all.

Actually, the warden here runs a pretty tight ship. Escapees who decide to make a break for it out on work detail in the sugarcane fields are hunted down by criminal trackers for whom bringing back anyone alive isn’t exactly a key concern.

True to WiP form, there’s a resident junkie, “Stuck,” (Stukowski) a blonde who’s approached by an outside goon to commit murder and naturally, shower scenes, whippings and violence!

Pick up The Women in Cages Collection over at Shout! Factory.

*** (out of 5)

A found footage, revenge torture vetsploitation teen detective story quintuple threat, American Descent is quite ambitious and for the most part interesting.

That being said, it’s not without considerable flaws.

Found footage is undoubtedly effective at generating scares with its immediacy and intimacy, and at a very low cost. However it’s a bit like a fighter with a limited skill set who yet has a “puncher’s chance.” Like the fighter, the conceit’s flaws are exposed as you go into the deeper rounds. That means falling victim to the usual petty annoyances inherent in a documentary style film, namely, a protagonist compulsion to video every single act and occasional cam shakiness.

That’s a shame, as with a few tweaks, American Descent could’ve been championship material as it’s got strong performances and solid visual style.

In the film, a much-loved family man is stationed in Afghanistan. He Skypes his two teen daughters whenever he can to keep in touch. One day, a mysterious package arrives at their school, a DVD. The label-less package is ostensibly sent from his base, something their dad denies via webcam.

Their interest piqued, the kids plop the video in. They then see strange, frightening footage of a woman tied to a tree in the middle of the woods. Not knowing what to do, they enlist the help of two cineaste friends to try to suss out if the vid’s legit, then try to unravel the mystery of what might have happened. When one of them recognizes a possible filming location in the footage, they head to that part of the woods where they find another clue: a USB key.

One criticism levied at documentary-style films is that it takes the usually dumb horror protagonists one typically finds in this genre and makes them not just dumb but solipsistic too.

However, that’s tempered by smart sisters Kate and Morgan (played by real-life sisters Eva and Madeline Link). One’s pretty and practical, the other, a brooding conspiratorial tomboy. Their dynamic is terrific.

Also terrific, some really naturalistic and genuine performances all around as well as how the teen investigative team gets further and further into the morass via odd clues left at various scenes (yes, they address the issue of taking the contentious evidence to the police).

The biggest debit is that the antagonist’s motivations really don’t make sense. Also, the denouement is effectively given away in the trailer. These are two considerable hurdles.

**1/2 (out of 5)