Empire of the Ants

Empire_of_the_antsWhen radioactive waste containers are dumped into the open ocean, it spells trouble. Soon, one washes up on a Florida beach.

In Empire of the Ants, real estate developers are checking out some peninsular beachfront property (this being Florida, the state that gave us the phrase “If you believe that one, then I have some swampland in Florida to sell you”). And they soon find out things aren’t what they seem, both when it comes to real estate investment and…well, their very survival.

Joan Collins is Marilyn, who sports amazing gaucho pants and is a cutthroat real estate developer selling Dreamland Shores, a development that “sells itself.”

Everything is “first come, first serve” and there are signs hilariously depicting FUTURE TENNIS COURT and FUTURE POOL AREA.

We soon get compound eye insect POV and realize the investors, who are being shuttled about on a little tram, are not alone.

The area, of course, has “fascinating wildlife.” There are 100 bird species there according to Marilyn, but as the voice-over intones in the opening credits, “there are 15,000 species of ants.”

Empire_of_the_ants_movieOne of the prospective buyers, Thomas,  tells wife Mary that “most people are dishonest” as he finds some of the plumbing not up to code.

Soon, there’s a loud buzzing sound and the husband is defending his life quite unsuccessfully with a piece of PVC pipe against an army of ants.

And the buzzing is getting louder and louder, so much so that the tour group can barely hear Joan Collins barking through her bull horn.

Soon, the group’s under attack along with their boat, making escape damn nigh impossible.

All that’s left is to utter, “Why is this happening?” “Where did they come from?” and least helpfully, “We’re never going to get outta here.”

You’ll invest in beachfront property before you buy the special effects of photographically enlarged nature film footage.

Like the best horror movies, a bunch of strangers have to cope with formidable conditions and fend for their lives. But Empire of the Ants isn’t like the best horror movies in any other respect.

Good, corny fun.

*** (out of 5)

[PLEASE CHECK OUT OUR DEVIL’S RAIN AND KINGDOM OF THE SPIDERS PODCAST]

Birth of the Living Dead

Birth_of_the_Living_deadGeorge Romero is responsible for re-animating the zombie genre, which has now proliferated to the point that someone should probably kill it.

Birth of the Living Dead is a documentary that’s got Night of the Living Dead’s grey matter in its sights, chronicling a time when How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse wasn’t daytime talk show yak fodder but boundary-pushing cinema.

Prior to George’s incredible classic, zombies had been relegated to the horror bench while Gothic monsters and radioactive creatures got the on-field start. Sure, there was a soupçon of undead flicks, but those were mostly island fare, Haitian witch doctors and whatnot and definitely not the entrails-munching cannibalistic fiends we’ve come to know and fear today.

For a mere $114,000, the Bronx-born Romero and a bunch of Pittsburgh friends and investors put together a film that upset the apple cart of horror (and movie) convention, not only with an almost existential, almost audience-baiting ending, but showcasing a black protagonist at a time when the only positive black screen presence was the Magical Negro, embodied by Harry Belafonte. Not only that, humankind depended upon a trigger-happy lynch-mob for its very survival while humans feasted on one another’s entrails. Stomach-churning stuff for kids at the time.

After an introduction to horror via Murder by Decree, Night of the Living Dead was this reviewer’s first bona fide horror. The film’s had such an indelible influence on this site, it’s the outro music for the Really Awful Movies Podcast. But even Dead diehards will find something of interest here.

Birth_of_the_Living_dead_GEORGE_ROMEROjpgIn Birth of the Living, Dead Romero has a great time talking about how Vietnam, the race riots of Detroit and Newark, and the failed promise of the 60s influenced his film. Producer Gale Anne Hurd discusses how “everyone learned on the job,” and director Larry Fessenden (The ABCs of Death 2/Windigo), along with various critics of renown, explore its themes and memorable moments

“They’re dead, they’re all messed up,” was ad-libbed. And that’s in keeping with the fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants ethos the cast and crew adopted during filming. Romero admits he wasn’t sure the film would ever be finished or that it would even get distribution. We’re so so grateful it succeeded on both counts.

From the 42nd Street Grindhouse scene to the mainstream, Night of the Living Dead has thrilled audiences for decades. Birth of the Living Dead even captures youngsters being introduced to the black and white classic via “Literacy Through Film,” a Bronx film appreciation class for kids. It’s a great way to make sure the dead keep living on.

***1/2 (out of 4)