Really Awful Movies

47 Meters Down

It’s hard to bond underwater. So when it comes to establishing characters, heavy breathing 47 Meters Down ain’t gonna cut it. The film dives right in, as it were, with a mishap: two divers, sisters Kate and Lisa (Claire Holt and Mandy Moore) are stuck at the bottom of the sea (where Ringo star wouldContinue reading “47 Meters Down”

Longshot

What’s next, a nail-biter about air hockey? Longshot is a feature-length (!) film about…foosball. Jesus, Bald-headed Christ. Of all the misguided, stupid, pointless, obscure, un-marketable, premises for a flick…this has to take the cake. Leif Garrett is Paul Rodgers. He wants to be the next Lionel Messi/Cristiano Ronaldo. An actual footballer. But for his fieldContinue reading “Longshot”