“My water bed just got slashed to pieces!” Dont’cha just hate it when that happens?
That’s not the only thing that’s slashed to pieces in The House on Sorority Row, a movie which does for sorority girls what…ah, who are we kidding? it does nothing for them, but like other horror films made in the 80s, thins their ranks.
Mrs. Slater is a busy-body den mother who’s tasked to oversee the goings on at the house, and boy does she get an eyeful when catching one of her girls (Vicki) in the sack with a beau.
And that’s when Mrs. Slater pulls out her cane and lays waste to Vicki’s ridiculous bed (sadly, director Mark Rosman missed out on the opportunity to deploy the phrase “it’s not the size of the ship, but the motion of the ocean” in this pivotal scene). Vicki, still steaming from the indignity, decides to rally the sorority troops and put an end to Slater’s overbearing ways. She and the rest of the girls hatch a plot to scare the crap out of the ol’ lady, in the process, accidentally killing her with a weapon that wasn’t supposed to be loaded (a bit like the real-life death of Brandon Lee).
They’re then left to hide the body, while a mysterious killer is laying waste to them.
Similar to 80s Camembert-fest Pledge Night, this one features a Greek setting and a prank that ends in tragedy.
However, The House on Sorority Row dispenses with the supernatural element of that film, instead investing a lot of time and energy into a giant red herring.
Still, fans of 80s slashers will get a big helping of babes (including yummy Eileen Davidson), a terrific era on-point band that rocks the sorority house throw-down, and a few memorable kills.
**1/2 (out of 5)
[Check out our podcast discussion of The House on Sorority Row]
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