Miami Connection: One of the worst films of all time

miami-connection-Enjoy the REALLY AWFUL MOVIES PODCAST
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In this week’s podcast, we issued a challenge to our listeners: send us a movie with a plot more ridiculous than Miami Connection.

As we said in an earlier review:

Never has a film been built on a foundation this flimsy: a crummy band embittered by being replaced by ‘Dragon Sound’ in an awful Orlando nightclub, decide to war it out with them by enlisting the help of a gang. This film is definitely not up to code.

But that doesn’t even begin to describe Miami Connection (actually set in Orlando). You see, Dragon Sound’s mandate is to spread “taekwondo awareness (!)” Fine you might say, every band’s got a gimmick.

Miami_ConnectionBut Dragon Sound members are not only martial arts students and University of Central Florida co-eds, they’re ORPHANS (!) and led inexplicably by a Korean dojo master twenty years their senior. And because this is Florida, there are ninjas (?!)

There’s also a long last dad, a band member who claims Korean heritage but clearly has none whatsoever, a guy who’s cut across the chest with a sword who’s not even kept overnight in hospital for observation, and a reunion subplot that’s one of the most hilarious things we’ve ever seen and that has become a minor YouTube sensation.

There’s also a protracted beach scene (see the “check out the guns” pose top right), which is weird as this is the very landlocked Orlando, Florida. When you think gang warfare, the not exactly mean streets of Orlando isn’t the first place you’d turn. And speaking of violence, the end of this film, after all the carnage, bloodshed and battling…there’s actually an appeal to world peace!

Check out our discussion of the absolutely gloriously, campy, endearing and fantastic Miami Connection. It’s more fun than The Room. AV Club called it “bizarre cultural flotsam” and that’s a pretty accurate assessment.

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