Battlefield Earth

battlefield-earth

***CHECK OUT OUR BATTLEFIELD EARTH PODCAST

Many people knock Battlefield Earth and with good reason: there are enough barn door wipe cuts to embarrass a freshman film student. This Earth is fallow to be sure but it’s nowhere near as creatively barren as people make it out.

To wit, a commenter of Den of Geek said it “would’ve been good with decent editing, acting and a script.” Too true! Still, if it were made by Bruno Mattei it would easily be among his Top 3 films.

Surprisingly, this starts out in sword and sandal territory as we’re introduced to primitive villagers whose familiarity with technology would impress any Visigoth. They’re warned against exploring too far from their encampment and too close to that “great god village,” which is the remnants of a nearby city skyline.

Barry Pepper channeling Ewen McGregor is the alpha male villager — Jonnie (mankind has lost touch with modern technology and the use of the letter “h”) and dares to venture outside the gates. Bad move, it turns out, as he and his companions are airlifted to a prison in Denver, which is now lying in ruins but is home to a “human processing centre.” This prison is run by aliens known as Psyclos, an “advanced” people who wear platform boots and share a wardrobe stylist with Amy Winehouse and Rob Zombie and are using humankind as forced labor.

Battlefield_earth_posterHead of security is none other than John Travola as Terl, with a second-in-command Ker (Forest Whitaker) who looks like a black Bert Lahr from Wizard of Oz. Disappointed by his Earth posting and looking to get out on another assignment, Terl’s superiors doom him to several more tours of duty in Colorado. With nothing but time on his hands he blackmails Ker into keeping the proceeds of a human gold mining venture to himself.

However, these humans are resourceful. When Jonnie is placed in a “knowledge machine,” to train him in the finer points of resource extraction, he becomes acquainted with, well, all human achievement up to and beyond the Enlightenment and he tries to explain Euclidian geometry to his dumfounded colleagues who’ve barely mastered fire and Stone Age tools.

A little knowledge is indeed a generous thing as he and the imprisoned humans “get leverage” on their captors (the phrase “leverage” is used repeatedly. Must be some kind of Scientology nonsense).

Human resourcefulness involves these 5th century beings learning how to fly what should’ve been long-mothballed US Air force aircraft, and finding ways to detonate improvised explosive devices, to attack their colonizing Psychlo overlords.

For an advanced race of prison guards, Psyclos don’t fare too well. Not only do they believe humans enjoy eating raw rat (guess their knowledge machines weren’t tuned to learning anything about humankind) their technology is bested by cheesy 20th century weaponry.

Battlefield Earth is uproarious fun. Dismal dialogue, lots of cackling, double-crossing, terrific costumes and absolute absurdity at every turn.

***1/2 (out of 5)

Da Sweet Blood of Jesus

Da_Sweet_Blood_of_JesusLanguid, beguiling and with only a handful of characters, this is quite a departure from Spike Lee. And that’s not including the most obvious: Da Sweet Blood of Jesus is a vampire flick.

In this re-imagining of Ganja & Hess (featuring the only other role by Duane Jones, he the soul/sole survivor of Night of the Living Dead), Dr. Hess Green is an archeologist consumed with Gold Coast art. He foreshadows vampirism with a detailed description of Asante cultural bloodletting practises.

On his sprawling estate on Martha’s Vineyard (40 acres’ worth — no mule) he finds his research assistant, Lafayette Hightower, drunk and sitting up in a tree.

He tries to talk him down, but the depressed and despondent Hightower plummets to earth. Turns out he’s fine and the duo have a sobering (sort of) discussion about the nature of man’s need for blood, in Green’s spacious living room.

Suddenly, Hightower attacks Dr. Green, stabbing him with an Asante artifact, before blowing his own brains out. Green comes to and licks the blood off the floor beside a sprawled out Hightower. In a nod to many other flicks, Dr. Green robs the local hospital of their blood as he becomes more comfortable in his vampire skin.

Da_Sweet_Blood_stillBefore too long, he’s wining and dining Hightower’s widow and then jet-setting off to Fort Greene, Brooklyn, picking up single moms. He’s all id, indulging in sex and aggression while the soundtrack follows (“lookin’ at my coochie it’s about that time”).

The perils of a vampiric lifestyle are put to the test at an HIV clinic and before too long, Dr. Green’s exploits are found out by those closest to him.

Unfairly panned on Rotten Tomatoes, it’s well worth a look to see where Lee’s style is taking him.

*** (out of 5)