Killer Party

killerparty_art_v01bViral outbreak/contagion/zombie/the world is going to hell movies are nothing new. Whether it’s Night of the Living Dead, The Crazies, 10 Cloverfield Lane, The Mist or any derivation thereof, films depicting a group of disparate people barricaded indoors whilst something evil from outside comes their way – all the while fighting, colluding, backstabbing and sometimes even cooperating in hopes of survival are nothing new.

What is novel though is when the besieged is comprised of a group of 30-something Hollywood wannabes, has-beens, never-will bes, plus a select few who had the better sense to leave their dreams of stardom behind and get out while the getting was still good. Throw in the fact that one is pregnant, and there’s a rabid, homicidal clown brandishing an acoustic guitar who’s causing all sorts of havoc outside, and things start to get just a little more original.

Killer Party, the debut feature from writer/director Alex Drummond, depicts such a scenario. Nick is an unemployed writer/screenwriter heavily in debt. His wife Mary is an actress/waitress slightly more successful than he is. She’s also very pregnant, so her friend, former child star turned Hollywood cliché agent Joanne, has decided to throw her a shower. Friends and acquaintances show up, including right-wing political aspirant Edmund and his wife Caroline, hottie Kim and her new boyfriend, moderately successful actor Ryan, and Kim’s still-hasn’t-gotten-over-her ex, unsuccessful actor Tommy.

The guests arrive, the tykes are shunted away to be entertained/babysat by the clown, and the adults get down to drinking and mingling. While some of the assembled genuinely seem to like each other, others find it hard to mask their feelings, ranging from mild annoyance to outright contempt. But, as is the case at all parties, small talk must be made, and really, is there anything more potentially enraging than small talk at parties? The more successful of the bunch subtly lord  over the less accomplished while others stew in their aggravation. This part of the film is wonderfully relatable  and entertaining, and a good film could have been made depicting just the interactions between these partygoers.

clown-and-hoodieBut this is a horror film, so something must go awry. And that something comes in the form of neighbor Fred. He stumbles into the house covered in blood and clutching a knife, babbling something about his wife going crazy which is why he had to put her down. Before long, the clown has bitten a sizable chunk out of party-host Joanne, deranged neighbors are hovering ominously outside, roads out of the subdivision are barricaded, and all hell is breaking loose.

And if things were bad among the party guests before, having to band together to survive whatever apocalyptic event is raging outside is just gonna make things worse. The outbreak aspect of the film does bear the taint of familiarity, but there’s enough humor to keep things entertaining: the disposal of Joanne’s not-quite dead body and Tommy voluntarily quarantining himself with the likely-infected Kim just so he could possibly get back into her pants being two particularly inspired bits.

Killer Party is a horror-comedy more akin to Shaun of the Dead than Dawn of the Dead, so it’s not particularly scary, but it is funny, and to Drummond’s credit, he doesn’t skimp on the gore, which is efficient, bloody and plentiful. The performances are uniformly strong, with Drummond’s real-life wife, Rachel  as the charming Mary proving a particular standout.

Ultimately, Killer Party is an entertaining if imperfect film. Certain scenarioss are riotous while others, particularly those near the end, have a slight tendency to drag. Nonetheless, the film looks great, the cast is likeable, and there’s a delicious slice of Hollywood satire served up alongside the yummy gore.

***1/2 (out of five)

The Seamstress

SeamstressThe Seamstress commits a cardinal sin off the bat: an entirely useless definition of the commonplace English word, “revenge,” when the film could’ve easily launched with a pithy quote. Or a dirty limerick. Or a factoid. Or lyrics by Tupac. Anything.

An unnecessarily talky exposition fest, aided with bad newspaper visuals — the made up Baltimore Daily doesn’t know how to use proper grammar, even above the fold — we learn that there’s a mystery surrounding the disappearance of one of its crime reporters, and that the man’s daughter, Allie, is going to get to the bottom of it.

She’s a student in Baltimore, Maryland and drives “57 hours” to somewhere in British Columbia where she was raised, partly to visit friends and ask about her dad’s final days, and partly as it’s cheap to shoot low-budget productions there. Har Har.

Two old cackers supply her with details that her dad was last spotted on some coastal island. (Why this investigation/disappearance isn’t being handled by, you know, the police is anyone’s guess.) The mystery unfolds via tips from a creepy mechanic, as well as a backwoods loner sheriff, Logan (nice to see Lance Henriksen in anything, even if he’s exactly as you’d expect here. We encourage readers to check out our PUMPKINHEAD PODCAST).

Allie then gets her friends, one of whom conveniently owns a boat, to go camping on the remote island, which as we know from having watched hundreds of horror films is never a good idea without the National Guard in tow. Or, to be geographically correct, the RCMP.

seamstressWe then learn of a scary legend in the remote BC woods: a seamstress who haunts the area. We also learn that these camper kids are randy and say things like, “How many kinds of gross is that?” (We don’t know, uh, 32?)

Allie wakes up from a terrible nightmare, only to find her father’s glasses on the ground. Will this clue help her track him down before an evil force consumes the group?

As the spectre exacts revenge on the unsuspecting campers, we get the nasty frights: the she-demon sews their lips shut. This is admittedly gory and frightening, and the movie looks great for the budget, but it’s undermined by lots of excess blather. And that’s saying something, in a film with a run-time south of 75 minutes.

The story’s fairly interesting and it’s fine to aim above your station, as this is horror…but at least have a suitable arsenal.

**1/2 (out of 5)