A look back at Don’t Go in the House

Every late 70s and early 80s horror film seemed to have a prologue to explain away a killer’s motivations and to pick a nature/nurture side.

Don’t Go in the House is no different, with young Donny’s abusive mama threatening to “burn the evil out” of him on the stove.

With such an ugly upbringing it’s no wonder Donny grows up to be a sociopath, standing idly buy while a co-worker immolates in a horrible workplace accident.

Donny, it seems, has PTSD/mommy and pyromania issues. Cue The Simpsons‘ “Don’t do what Donny Don’t does!”

Don’t Go in the House stars Dan Grimaldi, who fans of The Sopranos will recognize as Philly/Patsy Parisi.

The film gained notoriety as a Video Nasty as a killer exercising his childhood demons by setting people alight certainly caught the censors’ eye.

Don’t Go in the House is a movie that out-burns The Burning, at least as far as that’s concerned. And like fellow mama’s boy, Frank Zito from the superior Maniac, Donny stashes and stages his victims.

It’s really depraved stuff.

The best “Don’t” warning horror film remains, Don’t Answer the Phone! Don’t sleep on that one.

*** (out of 5)

Fatal Games

In Fatal Games (1984) someone is “stopping the nation’s top athletes…dead in their tracks.” And that someone is skulking around a janky, decrepit athletic academy which doesn’t look like it’d produce a decent Sunday Beer Leaguer let alone an Olympic-caliber athlete.

Seriously. The sports field is full of weeds, the change rooms very Soviet/commie bloc, the pool concrete is crumbling.

Athletes at Falcon Academy are training for “nationals,” and have to compete with universities with billion dollar endowments. However, when you look at their facilities you’d probably want your tetanus shots up to date.

The school is unscrupulous in other respects too: the same coach who teaches track, teaches gymnastics. And javelin. And swimming. The athletic director is pushing performance enhancing drugs, while the school nurse takes advantage of the female gymnasts.

Citius, Altius, Fortius. Caveat emptor!

Fatal Games dials back the violence and ratchets up the nudity. This 80s slasher is Gold Medal-worthy at least when it comes to bodies.

If you want to compare kill-to-kill, however, Graduation Day, which features a track team stalked by some creep – is a lot more creative. Which isn’t saying much, as that’s hardly a classic for the ages.

**1/2 (out of 5)