Really Awful Movies

Jaws with bugs? Another in a long line of “substitute a shark with your favorite killer critter here” movies, The Nest (1988) is a creature feature that puts the bête noire of apartment-dwellers at the forefront: the ever-icky cockroach.

Set in an ostensible “New England village,” a la the Spielberg chomper, this low budget affair comes complete with palm trees, not exactly indigenous to the State of Massachusetts, and other delightful geographical goofs (opposing car windows showcasing a sunny coastline on either side…Either this is the world’s narrowest island, or maybe it was a leisurely drive down an isthmus?)

And the Jaws similarities don’t end there.

Like other nature-run-amok movies, there are entrepreneurial schemers, looking to make a quick buck, and at the expense of public safety. Here, it’s Intec, an evil corporation in cahoots with a corrupt public official, a mayor desperate to increase tax revenue on the island. His economic development plan includes allowing a biotech firm to set up shop, a start-up with an interesting business model: they’re testing a cockroach in a lab, that’ll feast on other cockroaches! What could possibly go wrong with that?

Cockroaches are inherently nasty. And perfect horror film fodder. But for creatures that can apparently go a month without feeding, you’d never know it here. In The Nest, they make short work of islanders and pets, in it has to be said, rather revolting fashion.

And it’s up to the macho town sheriff, and his ex-paramour and high-school sweetheart (who happens to be the mayor’s daughter) to save the day.

Genre fans will get a kick out of love interest Lisa Langlois, who starred in some 80s cheeseball classics like Happy Birthday to Me and Deadly Eyes.

There’s even an evil scientist who gets aroused by the order, Blattodea (a group that includes termites, another indestructible insect).

As audacious as Slugs, this buggy horror delivers.

*** (out of 5)

[Check out our discussion of The Nest on the Really Awful Movies Podcast]

New Line Cinema is of course, “The House that Freddy Built.” But you’d be forgiven for thinking it’s also the House That’s Rebuilding Pennywise, as It, or It: Chapter One, bears a lot of the hallmarks normally associated with A Nightmare on Elm Street (hell, the film even features a passing shot of a marquee for A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child at the town cinema).

Like Nightmare, It has got a bunch of kids banding together to thwart a subterranean boogeyman (who they try and convince themselves is not real, and that their fear is illusory), pharmaceutical-popping, eerie streetscapes, a slew of ineffectual parental figures, heavy Freudian subtext, coming-of-age sexuality, a creepy backstory, and most obviously, a bunch of missing (and presumed murdered) children.

Those are the pluses.

But much like the Nightmare series began to (over) rely on Freddy, icky clown Pennywise begins to overstay his welcome, unfortunately, after an amazing opener where we’re introduced to The Dancing Clown crouching in a storm drain (with an unconscionable running time well-over 2 hours, even a terrific Bill Skarsgard performance wears thin).

Still, It’s small-town high-school backdrop rings true, and director Andrés Muschietti adroitly develops a real sense of place. The town of Derry, situated in Stephen King-land — Maine — is as much a star of the movie as its cast, a hilly New England burg with quaint shops and back-alleys aplenty.

But of course, it’s the kids who carry the day.

They’re awfully sweet, especially portly bookworm and lead detective of the Losers’ Club, Ben (Jeremy Ray Taylor) whose unrequited love for the school’s new kid, Bev (Sophia Lillis), is especially touching. Ben’s a bibliophile whose love-of-library even out-nerds his outcast friends; he has a copy of the town charter up in his bedroom. Then there’s foul-mouthed Richie (Finn Wolfhard of Stranger Things), and several others to round out the bullied Losers’ Club, whose battle against their school’s goons, is just as compelling as their tilt with the evil Pennywise (Anthrax’s cover of Trust’s “Antisocial” provides the soundtrack for a really inspired rock-flinging fight between bullies / bullied).

It: Chapter One bolts out of the gate with gusto and passion. It’s also a helluva lot funnier than expected (look out for “gray water” and “gazebo” lines. No spoilers here). However, It gasses toward the latter third.

Still, there is just enough gore to satisfy gore-hounds, and plenty of visual kicks and backstory to make up for the profusion of jump scares.

*** (out of 5)