Really Awful Movies

If you ever had any reservations about medical tourism in Eastern Europe, Yummy will confirm your suspicions and then some.

A mom and daughter duo from the Netherlands, visit a decrepit century-old hospital for a tummy tuck and boob job. With an exterior that looks like you’d need to have your tetanus shots up to date, it’s certainly not the kind of pristine facility you’d get in say, South Beach or Beverly Hills.

The daughter’s dweeb hemophobic (that’s hemo, not homo) hubby, Michael, is there to provide emotional support as they’re welcomed to the institution by what looks like the hostess from a downmarket steak house, and pawned off on a skinny drug fiend orderly to give them a tour of the premises.

Eagle-eyed Mike spots a noticeable indifference to EU healthcare protocols, not to mention absence of oversight re: his wife’s blood type, something that’s probably good to have top-of-mind ahead of surgery.

And before too long, the trio, along with a German actor getting some, er, below-the-waist treatment away from the prying eyes of paparazzi, are on the run from hissing, rapacious patient-zombies.

Yummy offers occasionally levity and slapstick, especially when it comes to hapless Michael’s fear of blood and accident proneness.

But what really stands out is just how bloody Yummy is. There are entrails strewn all over and you’d be hard pressed to find more bloodletting outside of maybe Peter Jackson’s Dead Alive/Braindead.

Body parts get severed, and there’s carnage aplenty – all for the good.

***1/2 (out of 5)

[Check out the Really Awful Movies Podcast discussion of Yummy!]

Dirty Pop is almost the upside-down, sinister version of Supermensch: The Legend of Shep Gordon.

Both documentaries feature talent managers with an almost Gumpian way of hobnobbing with industry movers and shakers; both have unassuming/unremarkable Queens, New Yorkers in central roles; both star men who moved thousands of miles away to make it (Orlando and Los Angeles); both weirdly invested in steakhouses, and both are intertwined with charges they made famous (Backstreet Boys for one, Alice Cooper, the other – among others).

However, one, Lou Pearlman, died a near-friendless criminal who created a large reservoir of ill-will, while the other, Shep Gordon remains admired and respected and counts A-listers (Michael Douglas, Steven Tyler, Sly Stallone and doc director Mike Myers) among his large network of friends.

Dirty Pop tells the wild tale of a Jewish entrepreneur, Lou Pearlman, operating a fledgling blimp company (you can’t make this stuff up!) who partnered with a Nazi/ex-Luftwaffe pilot (you definitely can’t make this up), moved to Florida and was in part responsible for creating the boy band fad of the 90s. In fact, a soured relationship with NSYNC meant he was the inadvertent muse for “Bye Bye Bye.”

He also, in the time-honoured tradition of the music biz, scammed his artists, but also bilked investors out of millions, with an investment vehicle which was supposed to have been (but wasn’t) underwritten by Lloyd’s of London.

Dirty Pop features reminiscences from ex-boy band members like Chris Kirkpatrick (he of the infamous Eminem “Without Me” diss track) and others. These folks wistfully yet bitterly recount interactions with the man who both put them on the map as a big spender on vocal, dance teachers and tour management, but who also undoubtedly exploited them.

Compelling stuff all around, including the inexplicable beginnings of the boy band phenomenon in Germany (thanks to Pearlman’s business partner as well as the then-prominence of Sony Bertelsmann), where acts got their road work in, touring malls and high schools (hey, everyone’s gotta start somewhere).

Dirty Pop is chock-full of juicy tidbits. For example, while sentenced to a Florida pen, Pearlman auditioned rappers. There’s even details of a 9/11-related incident that left this reviewer simply gobsmacked.

***3/4 (out of 5)